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| Myself at 36 weeks |
I love my son, Mason. Thank God for that. Because he put me through hell on his birth day... and the 2 days prior...and the 39 weeks prior to that.
I was one of those lucky gals who were blessed with gestational diabetes during the second half of my pregnancy. Insulin shots, glucose checks, strict diet, weekly non stress tests... otherwise known as torture for a pregnant chick. Oh did I mention that I was due in August so I went the whole summer without an ice cream cone or Popsicle? Yup I definitely love my son. I swear I wasn't one of those annoying whiny pregnant girls. I was legit excited for my upcoming bundle of joy and would do anything to keep him healthy. But now? My 7 month old gave me a run for my money today so I'm tired and cranky. So ya, being pregnant and diabetic sucks. Anyways, the upside to having diabetes is I got to know Mason's birth date ahead of time (induction is highly suggested). So there I sat, with my husband, Mike, at our 38 week appointment and the doc asked "How does July 31st sound?" Holy crap, that sounds scary as hell! ... And so exciting! But there it was on the calendar... my son's future birthday. As soon as we picked a date, I zoned out the rest of the appointment. You wanna check my cervix for the hundredth time? Sure go right ahead. My son will be here soon! My midwife babbled on about the induction process... I smiled and nodded as she explained to me that being induced doesn't guarantee a fast delivery. I knew she was obligated to tell me that. I also knew plenty of women who were induced at 7 am and had their baby in their arms by lunch time. No worries. I wanted a natural childbirth and although I've heard that being induced can be intense, I also heard that it is fast. I can do this!
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| Last photo of Mike and I "baby-free". Taken in the labor and delivery room. |
The next week flew by. My husband and I milked our last baby-free week and spent the days going out to restaurants, laying in front of the TV for hours and lounging in bed. On the evening of July 30th, we drove to the hospital. It was a surreal experience, checking in with Registration and walking myself up to Labor and Delivery. After not being able to eat much all day thanks to nerves, my stomach
now started growling. Too late now! I was officially NPO. I was checked into a room and the nurses quickly helped me laugh away my nerves. At 6 p.m. they checked my cervix and confirmed that I hadn't progressed since my last OB appointment (2 cm dilated). I was then hooked up to monitors to keep an eye on mine and Mason's vitals and given a pill called Cytotec to help ripen my cervix. I was told that this pill could do three things: 1. It could send me into labor. 2. It could give me menstrual-like cramps. 3. It could do nothing. Awesome. With that information, Mike and I settled in for a possibly long night. We tried to get some rest but how could we sleep knowing that our son could arrive at any time? We ending up talking most of the night while watching the Summer Olympic coverage. Every 4 hours, a nurse would come in to check my cervix and give me another pill. Finally, it was morning and guess what? Still 2 cm. So now at 7 a.m. a nurse comes in to start my Picocin drip. Yes! Now we're going to get the show on the road! My hungry belly was growling like crazy but it was okay, my baby would be here before lunch! I already started planning what delicious carb filled meal I would indulge in after the delivery. As the Pitocin started dripping into my veins, the nurse once again gave me the speech of what to expect: 1. Start labor. 2. Menstral-like cramping. 2. Nothing at all. Got it, I'm ready to go! Almost immediately, I started experiencing a tightening sensation in my stomach. No pain accompanied the tightening but I convinced myself that maybe I had a high pain tolerance and this is what contractions felt like. The hours ticked by and I quickly figured out that I was not going to have this baby by lunch time. By noon, I was maxed out on Pitocin and after numerous examinations, I was still just 2 cm dilated and not so cheerful about it. By 6 p.m. I was downright pissed off. Still 2 cm and hungry as hell. At that point, all I cared about was eating. Mason was obviously not making his appearance anytime soon. So I was disconnected from the Pitocin and monitors and allowed to eat dinner (diabetic friendly meal of course). After a couple hours of whining and dining, I was settled back into bed and hooked back up to my monitors. Now we're going to try another form of Cervical Ripening where they insert a balloon up you know where. At that point, I was really starting to lose my sense of humor. Once everything was in place, I heard the speech again: 1. Labor. 2. Cramps. 3. Nothing. Sure, whatever you say. Mike and I once again settled in for another long night. The good thing about the balloon was that I didn't have to be bothered throughout the night to have my cervix checked. It either worked or it didn't at that point. So with that, we tried to get some much needed sleep.
Around 2 a.m. I awoke with some sharp pains in my abdomen. I had no tightening like the day before so I chalked it up to the menstrual-like cramps I was warned about. I have always been one of the lucky ones, and had very easy periods throughout my life. I didn't even know what a cramp felt like so this must be one? The minutes and then hours went by and the pain just kept getting worse. I tried to stay in my bed as long as possible because I didn't want to wake Mike up. Soon, the pain got so bad I couldn't sit still any longer so I started pacing. I succeeded in not waking Mike until around 5 a.m. I was writhing in pain, sweating and throwing up! I felt like a wild animal and couldn't even stand to have clothes touching my skin. I think back and laugh because I was probably quite a sight to my husband. I no longer cared about everything we learned in Child Birth Class about breathing and massage techniques. I did not want Mike to touch me, let alone look at me. I had turned into a crazy person! I felt so out of control of the situation and started to panic and wonder how I could even handle labor if I couldn't handle "menstrual cramps"!?! Going against my pleading, Mike finally called for a nurse. I was so afraid that she would check my cervix and report that I was still only 2 cm dilated.
Once they convinced me to lay back down, it didn't take the nurse long to confirm that my body was progressing. Yes! I was hooked back up to the monitors (that I had ripped off sometime during my crazy person act) and was told that the midwife would be in soon to break my water. While we waited, the pain continued but I was calmed in knowing that I was in fact in labor and not just experiencing menstrual cramps. My midwife arrived promptly at 8 a.m. to break my water. After that, I don't remember many details. Moments after my water broke, something went wrong. I remember my midwife asking the nurse to adjust Mason's heart monitor. This quickly lead to the realization that his heart monitor was perfectly placed and what usually was in the 150's, was now in the 40's and dropping. Before Mike and I could understand what was happening, my room was packed with nurses and doctors. I remembering them yelling at each other, yelling at me to flip over on my hands and knees and yelling orders to someone over a phone. So much yelling and chaos. We were losing my baby boy and no one knew why! Nothing else mattered in that moment. I didn't care about my birth plan. I didn't care that I was completely naked on all fours in a room full of strangers. At this point, one nurse was fitting me with an oxygen mask and another was holding my shaking arm steady so I could sign consent forms for an emergency c-section. Someone else was inserting internal heart monitors to Mason. So much chaos. Tears were streaming down my face. And all I remember was my poor husband saying over and over to the doctors: "Do whatever you have to do! Do whatever you have to do!" Before I knew it, my bed was being wheeled out of my room and into the O.R. Mike had to stay behind until he was gowned up. (Later, I found out that the nurses made him eat toast before he could join me because they were so scared he would faint.)
When I arrived to the O.R. I was greeted by a room full of nurses and doctors. It took no time for the epidural to be inserted and surgical curtains to be strategically placed. As I waited for the epidural to kick in, the anesthesiologist stroked my hair and wiped my tears. He assured me that everything would be okay. Mike was soon by my side and held my hand as we waited. We just need to hear Mason cry! At 8:36 a.m, I heard the most beautiful sound! Our son has arrived and he was pissed off and loud! I was still crying but only happy tears. After a quick evaluation from the NICU nurse, it was confirmed that a beautiful, healthy baby boy was born. As soon as he was held by my face, his arm reached out and touched my nose. In that moment, I knew he loved me as much as I loved him. There could have been a million people in that O.R. but at that moment, it was just my little family. Michael, Mason and I.
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| First family photo! August 1st, 2012 |
Once my new little family was all settled in, we were told that my active little boy had tangled himself in my umbilical cord in the womb. My doctor told me that she had never seen a baby more entangled and they actually had to cut the umbilical cord in several places to unwrap him.Their best guess is when my water was broken, the cord tightened around Mason's chest causing his heart rate to drop. I am so thankful to have a healthy baby and whenever I have a hard day, I remind myself how differently things could have turned out.
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| Mason Thomas, 3 days old |
